kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

madehimsaycomfychairs:

thebeauty-isa-beast:

curvellas:

my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.

My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my  eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.

this is my favorite post on tumblr currently

dylanohcryin:

do u ever daydream about decorating ur first apartment bc i do

slybluesragingerection:

image

"your wings are too big"

image

anfonymackie:

do vampires just use their teeth to make a puncture wound and then suck, or are their fangs like a straw

i havent slept in three days

triptone:

Last night my little sister (5th grade) was making an e-mail account

She saw gender and went to click female when she noticed the “other” choice

She looked at me confused and I started to explain that some people don’t think they fit in with strictly male or female

"Oh! You mean like transgender and stuff like that. I was freaked out for a second- I thought they meant robots."

Yet another example the kids are more open-minded than adults

  • waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
  • waitress: sir please stop cyring